I L-O-V-E it whenever someone is taking my personal recommendation seriously. It’s when I recommend them something personally via chat or personal convo, not when I post something publicly.
Because in doing so, I’m not just sharing what I like (and simply wanted anyone to like it too so that they will know how I feel and secretly hoping to understand me). I don’t think there’s something wrong with that too, tho a lil’ bit selfish (yes, sometimes being selfish is fine too). OR simply sharing and hoping someone finds it interesting. No, that’s something I do online. But, when I give any recommendation personally, usually with much considerations about what they like or maybe need at times. My brain always think what’s best for everyone whom I care about. Because I won’t even give you any recommendation if you’re not on the list to begin with.
Most of my friends said that I’m good with ‘poisoning’ someone with good music. But if you ask them one by one, they will answer many different names of musicians. It’s because I recommend each people different music. I analyze their personality, mood, and how’s their life lately and try to find something in my collection that I truly like to recommend. It’s based on empathy.
Empathy is a choice, and it’s a vulnerable choice. In order to connect with you, I have to connect with something in myself that knows that feeling. It connects people. It makes people vulnerable, and being vulnerable together is a happiness for me. For ‘happiness’ is different from ‘comfort’.
Comfort is indifference. Happiness is fulfilling.
Ever since you were little, you were probably inundated with the idea that when you find someone to be with you’ll end up living ‘happily ever after.’ This notion of ‘happily ever after’ makes it seem as if there’s nothing more to strive for after you’ve met the person of your dreams; you’ll just live out your days in complete comfort. In reality, getting into a routine will only breed indifference.
Happiness, on the other hand, means that each day is a new chance to explore your love for each other in some way, fulfilling each others’ wants and needs through new experiences that you share together.
Comfort is nonchalant. Happiness is exciting.
When you become comfortable with a person, you stop seeking out the exciting moments in life. Things become too casual, and, as mentioned before, routine. You go through the motions of your relationship — dates, dinners, picnics, family parties, etc. — but aren’t really happy about any of it.
On the other hand, when each of these moments creates an exciting memory to treasure for a lifetime, you know you’ve reached happiness within your relationship.
Comfort is ambivalence. Happiness is a surety.
So many of us stay in a relationship simply because it’s better than being alone. Obviously, that’s no way to live. It might be comforting knowing you have someone to come home to at night, but if that someone is just anyone, then what’s the point? Being in love with the concept of being in love is not the same thing as being in love with a person (I’ll give you a second to re-read that convoluted sentence, but trust me — it makes sense!).
When you’re truly happy in a relationship, you are absolutely certain that the person you’re with is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, and you’ll do everything in your power to keep them by your side.
Comfort is stagnant. Happiness is always growing.
Think of when you’re most physically comfortable. My guess is it has to do with your everyday pants and a couch, right? But when lying there, you’re not doing anything to improve your life. It’s okay to stop and appreciate the moment every once in a while, but relationships need to constantly evolve for me to mean anything.
Whereas comfortable couples are content with ‘the way things are,’ couples in happy relationships always look toward the future and live a life fully lived together.
Comfort is easy. Happiness is worthwhile.
Going back to the whole notion of ‘happily ever after,’ we’ve unfortunately been conditioned to think that true love doesn’t take any effort once it’s achieved. Once you get the girl or find your prince, the rest of your life should supposedly be smooth sailing. Well, that’s not the case.
However, that’s not such a bad thing. When a relationship becomes too easy, it’s most likely because you’ve both stopped putting your all into it. You’ve become complacent, ambivalent, and stagnant. Growing together is hard work, and it should be.
The amount of effort you put into your relationship is what makes all the amazing things that come with it so incredible.
the topic’s getting off as usual, so I think I need to end it here. You’ll know that you connect with me if our conversation goes like river.
Also, thanks to Miss Cucumber, one of my best friend, for becoming such huge inspiration for this writings by simply giving this lovely message you could see above as a reply from my album recommendations for her. It’s heartwarming.